External View

In my mind I have the view of how the main planet will look but I lack the skill to draw it out for you. So I shall try to describe how it looks the best way I can.

Think of the toy top

Toy top
The bottom half is all rock and jagged while the top is much like earth but flat. A bit like
flat earth
The top half will also have huge mountains like the bottom but not as rugged. As there is an atmosphere that we know the world looks round from a distance. So unlike the above image there is air on the bottom half.

Center of its own Universe

This will be the center of the universe as I will build around it and make things as I see fit. I will need to work in on how the sun and all that work but it will have a place but it a world of magic anything can go.

Well that is what I have thought up and will have more soon.

Whats in a Name?

As I think of what to call the world I am building I wonder, what is in a name? You see it is not easy to think of something that is grand as noting starts out that way. In my past I have had an ideal for a world name, I have thought of cites names as well. One name stands out for me; Khaotica or maybe Kaotica. Not sure how I want to spell it just yet but the sound the same. It should be easy to note that the name is from Chaos something I find oddly beautiful. Now that I have a name for this world it is now time to come up with more things for it. One thing that will be fun is the Cosmology of it all as it is more than one planet it is a whole universe I am about to create.

A World of my Own

I am going to do it, I am going to create something that I can call my own. It shall be a grand undertaking but I will get this done. I will create my very own world. It will be for a game of course but I shall build every last detail within it. Not in a computer world but one in words. Every rock every speck of dust shall have a place in it. I will go all in on this creation leaving nothing out.

It will be a world full of magic and wonder. Of good and evil it will be a story that I can share with any that is willing to read.

Moving Forward

For some time now I have looked at what is in front of me as an obstacle that I could not overcome. Time was that i would just allow myself to suffer my own regrets and think that I am not someone worth anything, this day I find out that I was just afraid and I still am. Life is fleeting but changes take time, I see this now. With this new outlook I think it is time to change myself for the better.

I am still working on how at the moment but I know I can improve on who I am and who I shall become. I am the one controlling my life, I am the one who shall change what is to be. It is a shock that I know that I am smart, I understand my strengths and weaknesses but I just let life pass me. I shall now move on and change this and it will take time and most of all effort on my part.

Motivation is key to my success and it can no be forced as that would lead me back to my self destructive ways and I am moving past that. Hopes and dreams fill me and I see that I can not move on unless I embrace the myself with positive thoughts and ideals, no longer can I berate myself. You see I need to shed the fear,anger and self hate and rise up out of the destruction that I have caused to myself. There is no real destination only the journey forward to something new and exciting.

Even if the world dos not see value in me, well the small amount that have seen http://www.indiegogo.com/at/restart I see something that is more, something priceless.