Not sure if anyone still reads this but just encase I want share my website r0zzin.com
I may be done with this site for now not sure as I need to pay for the other one. We shall see. but for now that is all come check out what I little I have to offer.
On another note I also have Sempiternal Imagination. still not sure what I want to do with it but will try to make somehting out of both of them. So come on over.
Thank you for your time
It has been sometime since I have written anything here not that anyone reads it but it is for me anyway.
I am alive, still not living “My Best Life” but I am working on it, or at least one that I am happy with.
Can’t do it alone yet I still live in my shell keeping people at arm’s length. Working on this also. Working on a lot of things, most just wishful thinking and hopes and dreams and nothing solid or good for my mental health.
I dream and pray to win the lotto like so many others. Not sure why money can only do so much and it will not do what I truly want. I just think I can do so much with it, good intentions. A quote that comes to mind: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Yet I do think I will do good things with it. I will not be greedy, will not be too giving also. I will do my best if I won to find a middle ground, what that entails I’m still uncertain on.
I still seek a handout as you can tell. I want the world to give and not work for it all. Sigh. Not sure why… laziness or I am and just don’t wish to truly admit it. But I live I learn and I do my best to live a life that is… who am I kidding I am just a waste of space. Good day.
I must not give in I must strive to do better to overcome my own limits. Each day is not my last I will live to fight on, to rise above the limits I lay before me.
There are times I am low, so low that even I can not see the sky, but in those moments I must persevere. I am but one soul on this rock that we call earth and even I know I have limits.
I can not just think I need to act to move past my inhibitions and take hold of this world. A lot has changed since my last post and most of it is for the better yet I can not move past my self loathing unless I am willing.
I am not sure where I am going or what I will do with my life but I do know that I am worth more.
I sit wondering what the day shall bring hoping that inspiration hits me. I ponder on many things yet nothing seams to stick into my mind as I try to think of something to do with my time. At this moment that something is to just type random things as they come to my mind. I hope that can do more with my life, pray that I can wake up from the nightmare that is my reality.
Yet it is not as easy as it should be, I question on things that should not be and wish for things that can never be. I am lost, alone afraid of what is to come. Hope is in me yet it does not surface, it lingers in the back of my mind cowering from the world that around me. I want more no I need more, to be something, to do something yet I do nothing. I am a waste.
Time, times is not on my side as I am a person that waste time someone that just sits idle as the world passes me. I am nothing more than what I make of myself and I make nothing of myself. A coward, afraid of both success and failure. I pause at the moment I see any prospect of hope. Daunting and without motivation I sit waiting for a miracle that shall never come, hoping for something to fall in place. Yet nothing ever does.
I need to rise up, to awaken yet I can not do it alone. I can not do it without help. I need help, guidance from anyone that is willing. So to any that read this please send me something anything.
For the first time in a long time I feel alive, hopeful and full of joy. I dream of something that I hope will come true, something I want, need and deserve. Something that will set me free from my financial restraints. Yet I know it is a dream a miracle even. And I do pray that it will come to pass yet I do not let the ideal control me.I want this more than I can say in words, even without wining I know I am blessed
Yet I sit here hopping, dreaming awaiting for the moment to see of “What If” that time where I can be free that moment of truth moment that more than likely will not come for me yet I still hope and long for it to come.
I must remain positive, keep my head up and dream a dream that most will say is impossible or even delusional yet I hope, pray and dream that it will come to pass.
I can not say for certain what I will do if I win but I believe it will be wonderful to find out.
God please hear me, please find it within you to give me the opportunity to do great things.
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